Fortune

As I move through different parts of Asia, into different cites and districts, as I meet different people, I am ever reminded of how fundamentally some believe in the powers of fortune. Here are some of my glimpses into the world of fortune as they’ve brushed up against my experience.

At Asakusa Temple

At Asakusa Temple

1) Asakusa Temple, Tokyo, Japan:

My first encounter with fortune came at the temple in Asakusa, Tokyo. I had read in some guide books about receiving your fortune at the temple and as I saw various people minding these small drawers to the side of the main plaza, I assumed it had something to do with this. So I went over to the long row of drawers and simply opened one to receive my fortune, written on a small piece of paper. Luckily it was in printed there in English -though the exact translation is perhaps questionable.

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Fortune No. 76 Regular Fortune:

“To be rich or noble are given by God, you can’t get them by your own endeavor, and knowledge. Although you work hard with your best, it doesn’t come out so well without help of the God.

Coming fortune in future depends on all what you have done at past. If you be have your best to others, you can be rich and get honor by people.

Your request will be granted. The patient get well soon. The lost article found. The person you wait for will come. Building a new house and removal are both good. It is good to start a trip. Marriage of any kind and new employment are both well.”

I’m inclined to believe that all of the fortunes are similarly positive and generic. Yet, there is a little rack beside the wall in place to tie up bad fortunes and burn them. There were many burning when I went, so I suppose it’s indeed a good one. Additionally, I found out later that I was to pull a stick from a container in order to first receive my fortune number -rather than randomly picking a drawer. So I’m not sure how that effects me and if it perhaps nullifies the fortune. However, I feel happenstance drove me to this particular drawer; and so, that’s right enough for me.

IMG_10042) Chinatown, Bangkok, Thailand:

My next fortune came from a fortune telling machine beside an elevator in Bangkok’s, Chinatown. At first I passed them by on the way to a bathroom, but on the way back I decided to see what it had to tell me. I chose the scary looking one at right in the picture, half expecting it to be grim. (I was in a rather macabre, solemn, perhaps mental twisted mood.)

Now, I cannot at this point say exactly what the fortune said, as it was only written in Thai. But I am currently learning to read Thai, so perhaps I can read it myself and in its entirety one day soon. Yet, I did have my Thai friends translate it, but this translation was rather confusing; and I have a suspicion that if it were bad, they’d not tell me anyway. However, they said it was good.

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From what I could gather, the fortune ran something like the following (I’ve added some finesse to enhance the symbolism):

I was a dead tree, black and withered. Nourished by the morning’s dew, a new baby leaf grows out of my old roots. I will now be ok, grow anew, and flourish. The court of justice had condemned me, but the verdict was awarded in my favor. I will have a good life and prosper.

I think there was probably more to it than this, and maybe some modifying words made what was bad into good. I do not know. All I know is that they seemed kind of timid and hesitant when telling it to me. Perhaps it’s not good to receive ones fortune from a machine. Or maybe they were just reluctant to explain an exact translation and preferred the simpler route of just telling me it was good. But I’d like to read it for my self at some some (given that I actually learn to read Thai, a task that seems monumental at this point and I’m on the verge of giving up out of newfound feelings of pointlessness.)

3) Wat Na Rong Buddhist Temple, Bangkok, Thailand:

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I went to  the Sunday ceremony at Wat Na Rong Buddhist Temple last week. I must say I’m glad it was pouring rain before we left and that we arrived 35-40 late because we were there for a nearly an hour from that point (listening to monotonous chanting in foreign tongues while sitting holding my hands up in prayer position and staring into a leftover puddle from the morning’s rain.)

I was glad that I went though. I do enjoy communal spirituality on occasion and the novel experience was enlightening of a practical scene of religion in Thailand.

I’m not sure exactly who he was or if he knows Cathy, etc. But a man came over and proceeded to read my palm. He just came over and asked to see my hand and started talking to me. From what I gather he works in some capacity for the government or law. He said he studied English in America at some University. Although he spoke English rather thoroughly, his accent was hard to decipher.

The first thing he said was that I’ll have a long life, ie., that my life line is long. Several people in my family have lived into their 90’s and past 100 even, so this is not too outrageous a prediction. Next, he told me I have a good, strong brain. Now this was a rather odd, unexpected thing to say, I thought. I’ve never had or seen a palm reading where the brain was specifically mentioned; it’s usually love, wealth, success, length of life, happiness, etc.

He continued to look at my hand for a while saying various supplementary things; but mostly kept coming back to and harping on the fact that I’m smart, have a strong brain, a good mind, and can do great things with it. I can even be a doctor if I want, he said. As he swapped from right to left hand, he noted that I have two brains, even, pointing out the diverging midline of my left hand. This is very good, he said. I will do great things with my brain (I suppose that’s assuming I can master cohesion of these two different brains!).

The only other thing he noted was that my love line, -the line on the outside side of your left hand- is not deep. Therefore, that means my love life is either indecisive or undecided. I cannot tell which he meant to infer, but only that it wasn’t necessarily good. He showed me his -which was very deep as a consequence, I think, of his aged hands. Perhaps the older I get the more certain and deep my love life will become. All I know is that I cannot dispute the truth behind such an assertion -as my love life is currently undecided and perhaps appears a bit indecisive.

Also of note at this outing: I was mildly reprimanded by Cathy as I sat down on the floor next to the monk to take a photo, with “don’t touch him!” Not that there was a big risk of my touching him, but I suppose I was simply too close for comfort. He spoke decent English and said he studied in the states. He had a very happy demeanor with hints of a repressed anxiety and almost nervous giddiness that thoroughly conveyed the naivety of his experience in the presence of women.

As we were leaving Cathy brought over a guava that he gave her to give to me. Guavas are called Falangs in Thai – the same name for white foreigners. I was told they’re called Falang because they’re rare and beautiful; and this is why he gave it to me. Another man gave me a papaya as we left and the palm reading man gave me his card if I ever needed anything -I wasn’t sure if he was speaking about a job or what, but you can see the things I received in the photo.

4) Other things in the vein of fortune:

Upon glimpsing a photo of my family and I, I was told that I’m good luck and will have a good life because I have a face like my father. In the Thai tradition, a daughter will be good and successful if she has a face more like her father than mother. Although, I agree that I rather look like my father, (and it’s not the first time I’ve been told that) I think the photo merely accentuated it, as we have similar facial expressions.

I was also told that I was good luck because Cathy won some money in the lottery the day I arrived here and also I unknowingly gifted to her a lucky plant (in Thai called something like Bella Mi Setee Konuck), which is supposed to bring about money and power to the family who possesses it. Literally the name translated to a beautiful bird with feathers soft like mink, who has lots of power and money -or will bring about those things.

So, all signs point to something promising in the horizon of my future. I guess we’ll just have to see how all this comes into fruition.

Bella Mi Setee

Bella Mi Setee

 

10 Things You Might Not Know About Thailand

10 interesting things you might not know about Thailand, but realized:

coffee stand (its served in a plastic bag with a straw)

coffee stand (it’s served in a plastic bag with a straw)

1) You are given straws with nearly all drinks, even bottled water! No matter if you get bottled water at a food cart, order a drink or bottle of juice, you are given a straw with it. I’ve thrown away so many plastic bags with straws because I’d buy, say, two bottles of water or coconut juice and two straws accompany it in the bag.

2) The taxis are pink. Most taxis here are pink. It is really cute.

3) Food carts are Thai fast food. Although there are fast food chains, you just don’t see as many here. They are in much fewer quantity than anywhere else in the world I’ve ever been. The locals and expats simply eat from food carts on the street as Americans would eat fast food. It’s much better, in my opinion.

4) A thai massage includes rubbing down your whole chest, breasts (if woman) and all. Ok, in all honesty I haven’t been back to get another massage since the one experience; and I’m simply assuming they’re all the same. But, yeah, laying in awkward silence on a firm table , without even eye covers, I, for all intents and purposes, basically had this girl fondle my breasts. Pretty awkward.

5) If you don’t already, you’ll love young coconut meat and mangos. You can get them at food carts or wherever you look. Both taste so good and fresh here unlike elsewhere in the US or Europe.

6) There’s not a subway or train that connects the whole city of Bangkok. There is a train and subway line (BTS and MRT), but neither are very long and connect only the main touristy and commercial areas of town in a short X-like shape. Though it is convenient, you could ride the longest track from one end to the other in well under an hour -probably more like 20 minutes. However, I’m told an expansion is in the works and will be completed in a couple years (too long to take for something so crucial, in my opinion, because Bangkok has a serious traffic problem! That 20 minute train ride could easily take you 2 hours by car).

singing lady

singing lady

7) Most young people do not speak English (like they do in many other foreign countries). I came here expecting a majority of young people to have a basic knowledge of English, having learned it in school. However, I am hard-pressed to find English speaking people here, young or otherwise.

8) There’s much poverty, but not as many bums as you might expect. Having recently been to Seattle, a city with a strikingly large amount of bums, I half-expected to see near as many in a city like Bangkok. However, I rarely see bums sitting around or begging for money. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are bums, just not as many as I expected to see. There aren’t many and they’re seen only in the majorly touristy areas -near markets, etc. And I suspect it’s because many, who would otherwise be bums, enter the realm of theft and scamming instead. However, maybe most Thais are just hard workers (which has actually been my typical observation of them). Interestingly the bums I do see come in one of 3 or 4 varieties: 1) a typically gaunt woman with one or two small, dirty children, 2) a maimed man, without an eye or appendage, or perhaps another deformation, laying flat out on his stomach on the ground holding out a tin cup, in the middle of the sidewalk, with people stepping over and around him and a faint sense, for instance, that there’s actually a folded leg hidden from sight in the pants, 3) a random man or woman singing into a makeshift microphone attached to some box-like amplification contraption strapped to their chest (horrible singing, by the way), and 4) a random, dirty homeless person simply sitting by the sidewalk -although, perhaps these types just resting there because they show no clear sign of begging.

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9) Foreigners get charged more for everything, period, hands-down, and without fail. (even for things you’d think were objective and set, like a hotel room) This facet of Thailand (I can presently only speak for Bangkok but am told it’s similar elsewhere) is something that really bothers me. And I can even go so far as to say that it often disgusts and angers me. In a way, it’s a system that works and follows more closely a pure laissez faire economy. But still, it angers me when I’m charged 200 baht for a cab ride that should me 46, simply because the driver refuses to turn on the meter; or when I’m quoted 1500 baht or a mani-pedi, for which a Thai girl would be charged 200; or when I’m quoted a monthly rent of 85,000 baht for the same place a Thai person currently pays 38,000. (These are all actual anecdotes of my experience here.)

10) Eggs and bacon aren’t really breakfast foods, but rice is. And you can eat rice at any time of day or night, for meal, snack or else-wise. Moreover, there are so many various things made out of rice: noodles, crepes, desserts, drinks, and many others.  Eggs are used in dishes at any time of day; but they’re more typically an accompaniment to other things and usually not the main, stand-out protein. This is great for me because I love eggs and could stick one on almost anything. And as for bacon, they do have it here (and it’s thin and crispy like in America, unlike some Eastern European places I encountered who seemed not to know what proper bacon is and how to cook it.) Yet here, bacon is used more simply as pork in dishes.

I’ll add to this list as other interesting things arise.

Thailand, The Land of Smiles

IMG_0491IMG_0538Thailand is a beautiful place. Thai culture is so inextricably intertwined with beauty that one cannot mention the word Thai without thinking of lush exotic places and colors, ornate golden architecture, and richly satisfying cuisine. All of what means to be Thai is wrapped in a bejeweled package, where layers upon layers  delve into greater beauty and intricacy.

Walking around Bangkok’s, The Grand Palace and Temple of the Emerald Buddha, -where foreigners go to awe at the beauty and natives go to make requests of the tiny golden Buddha- one can see the visual manifestation of the root of Thai culture. The palace, like the culture itself, is a smorgasbord of design, color, texture, and detail. Pairing both clean and curvilinear lines with myriad finials and finishes, there is so much to see that if you returned repeatedly for years you’d never see it all -a reality true of Thailand in general.

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Thai culture, like their rich food and ornate architecture, is indulgent, in a way. Yet it feels not like the bloated opulence of Western palaces, cuisines, and cultures. Thai culture is bejeweled and grandiose, yet has a grounded feeling that is one with the earth, a dirtiness, perhaps, that epitomizes its realness -as if it were built of mud rather than stone, or were a clean, beautiful girl walking through wet, dirty streets in a priceless gown that, with each step, colors and tatters the dress at its base, connecting the girl to the street and yet leaving the crown of her beauty unscathed, even providing tender contrast. Thai beauty is rooted in the culture of the earth and stands out against its surroundings, not as a starkly alien object, but as simply the earth’s manifested beauty.

IMG_0502Like a good Pad Thai -served garnished on top with a fresh cut lime, clean white bean sprouts, spritely green onions, red pepper, sugar, and vinegar, all the ingredients become mixed into what was the substance of the underneath noodled mass such that the lime is used up, the sprouts and onions darken and wilt, the red pepper stains all with its color, and the others simply dissolve with no visible trace. What you get from the amalgamation you taste in intricacy of flavor. Yes, the appearance changes and becomes something different, but the true gem is in the pleasure of the taste. Indeed, the recognition and appreciation of pleasure is what drives this creative indulgence, whether it be architecture or food. Thais, I believe at their core, truly appreciate sensory pleasure and happiness, whether it be visual, gustatory, or otherwise. Thailand is not called “the land of smiles” for nothing.

Girls I Met Randomly in a Bathroom

Girls I Met Randomly in a Bathroom

Furthermore, in contrast to more westernized places where you feel from people a real sense of singularity -an independence of going about rooted in one’s own mind and experience- it seems Thais are always with one another, moving and experiencing things as a group -or you could say as a family. Friends are, indeed, regarded more like family, a family that spends all their free time together. Extrapolating this, one could say it’s proof of love and happiness for one another. People here go about not alone in the world, but with a myriad of caring others. There is this friendly humanism about Thai people that is as if everyone is either friend or acquaintance.

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Guy Helping Explain Things at a Market

Now I’m not saying that everyone is friendly or treats me like a family. Often, if not always, I’m charged more for things simply because of the color of my skin. And though everywhere I go people tell my I’m beautiful, perhaps they could also be speaking badly of me behind my back; but still, for me, Thai people seem generally nice and good natured -like they would rather help me than hurt me, even though they’d like also something in return. I just don’t so much see here the pissed-off, spiteful, lonely individuals who feel affronted by any small encounter that I’m so used to seeing in Western places -and particularly in America. And from this vein of closeness, it seems Thais believe in no such thing as personal space. Like a family, food, money, housing, and transportation are shared, and it is common for playful and pragmatic touching of one another.

In a platonic yet caring way, the sanctity of my physical isolation has been breached more times in two weeks than in the previous two years. Western people don’t generally touch each other unless prescribed by appropriate situations, such as greeting, parting, or special occasions of grief or gratitude. Yet touching ones hand or arm to lead in a direction or as an emphatic gesture feels thoughtful, genuine, and connected, like you’d be with family and friends. And touching strangers on the back of a motorbike or on a subway, is absolutely normal here as well; and perhaps it should be, being simply people moving about in unison with one another.

IMG_1843In this place, where people are more naturally human, it’s only normal the Thai fascination and regard for beauty and pleasure. What is further natural, Thais do not create order out of chaos. They leave the disorder, uncleanliness and realities of the environment to build something, at their timely discretion, on top of it. If one can relax into patiently abiding the lackadaisical flow of progress, then one can rise above things seeming haphazard and thwarted, to see beautiful patterns and infinite nuance of the system. Like the thousands of crowded little streets, alleyways, inlets and corners of Bangkok’s sprawling city, Thailand and Thai culture is permutation after permutation billowing and folding unto itself with a grandiosity ever grounded in the muck of real existence. Thais know and accept what it means to be a human with bare feet on the ground, ever sweating, smiling, and surrounding oneself good food and camaraderie. Just like the architecture, it creates something beautiful out of the earth.

Hyde and Seek Gastro Bar & Restaurant

Lately, here in Bangkok, I’ve been feeling a bit lost in my purpose for being here, like I’ve forgotten my direction. So I decided to resume something I like doing and go out to eat good food and then write about it. So I’ll start with the best of what I’ve eaten in Bangkok thus far:

Hyde and Seek Gastro Bar and Restaurant
IMG_0362After reading some reviews I came to this place, as it was called ‘the hip place’ to go and to be seen. I wasn’t sure exactly what that would look like in a city like Bangkok, so I thought I’d check it out. Maybe Sunday night wasn’t the best time to do so as it’s a rather slow night in Bangkok. On this occasion there were a few ‘falangs’ (white or western foreigners) of the older white man varietal sitting outside eating casually, perhaps a bit sloppily as one seemed all too comfortable in the big comfy chairs without shoes and eating cheese from a plate he held in one had as he jerked about talking to another man sitting across the low table, laid-back smoking a cigar. There were a couple other people outside around the front as well. Inside there was a couple and two other small parties.

I opted to sit inside the clean, modern, cool interior. I sat at the long empty bar rather than the high tables behind the bar, a bad choice I came to realize because the bar chairs are so low that you could literally fall backwards, drunkenly or otherwise, by thinking that the mock-backs are high enough to prop up against, giving this false sense of comfort when you actually have to sit upright as if they are bar stools.

However, the food was better than expected. In what I’ve determined as a non-foodie city like Bangkok, I have come to lower my expectations of what to expect. Yet Hyde and Seek was perhaps the closest thing I could find to home. The food is classified as ‘International’ but it was more like American. The menu and many options had the kind of written-on-a-blackboard, farm-to-table kind of feel.

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I opted for the pork belly and tuna tartare. I asked for the tuna first and then the pork belly. But, surprisingly, they ended up bringing the pork belly first, shortly after the bread (two brown wheat rolls, nicely average size, with tasty clarified butter). The pork belly was great, like a nice piece of southern pulled pork. It was a nice size square cut of pork cooked fork tender, with a well paired, slightly creamy sauce. The fat of the belly was meltingly good, rather than chunky or obtrusive, and I ate all of it first and happily as the tartare sat to its side. (They offered to take away the pork while I ate the tartare, reheat the pork, and return it to me later, but I thought this rather unappealing as I don’t trust they’d not simply microwave it -as I saw a restaurant do with my samosas earlier in the day- and I didn’t want them to ruin the texture.)

So I had the tuna tartare second. It was composed of fresh deep red tuna, chopped in a rather minced fashion, laid out amply in a crescent, garnished with radishes and a bit of decorative sauce. Though quite a bit less flavorful by comparison to the pork belly, it retained the flavor of medium fatty tuna (not so buttery and rich as fatty tuna, but meaty nonetheless). Though I had one of the small rolls with the meal, I wouldn’t really call it a meal. Before ordering, I asked the bartender if the tuna dish was large, as I had planned to get a salad as well. She responded that it was rather large. And though the dish wasn’t fine-dining-petite, per-say, it was not large; and I wished I’d have gotten the salad as well. What I ended up with was two plates of meat, as neither had accompaniments, and two rolls. Some green vegetables would have been welcome.

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I was also recommended the ‘Secret Window’ cocktail by the bartender based on telling her I like drinks with whiskey or vodka, that are perhaps sour and not too sweet. This bartender spoke English well though the others there did not very well. Because the drink shared a name with a Johnny Depp movie, I acquiesced. It was composed of Gentleman’s Jack whiskey, dark chocolate liqueur, vanilla, bitters, and garnished with a large pretty piece of sugar Carmel on top. It was a tasty enough drink, though I’d not likely get another.

In all, food was rather expensive, though having paid near this for much lesser food, I was fine with doing so and actually left a tip (which is not necessarily required in Thailand because most places slap on a gratuity percentage, -and also I’m pretty sure the two other bartenders were talking about me the whole time -though unclear whether good or bad, which in a different mood could have swayed my decision to leave an additional tip). Also, the doorman asked if I had a reservation when I arrived, which I thought was rather pretentious as the restaurant was at least 75-80% empty. Yet I’m sure it’s simply what he was told to do as he led me amiably to my seat of choice. All in all, I’d recommend this restaurant as good quality food in Bangkok and would return. Though nothing further screamed my name to come back and eat it, I know that what I’d eat if I came back would probably be a solid choice.

A Slice of Japan in the Heart of Bangkok

Hunting for a short-term apartment or long-stay residence here in Bangkok has been a bit of an endeavor. There are so many options. There are different parts of town that I don’t even know about yet. There is a possible upcoming beach trip with my Thai family, for which I can’t seem to get exact dates or information and don’t want to pay for a room in Bangkok during those days.

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I’ve spent a couple days looking around at viable options nearby. I’ve yet to venture out of my current area, Sukhimvitt. And really, the farthest I’ve gone was a couple streets over! So I decided to stay at a less expensive place down the street, with a small kitchenette and more room, until I can get a better idea of things. Also, I still don’t have a solid clue about my plans for work or volunteering, but that’s a whole other beast I don’t want to get into here right now.

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The new place, Luxx, is a Japanese style residence hotel with a sushi bar downstairs. It all feels very zen. In a city that constantly wears me out and leaves me feeling hot, dirty, and threadbare, grasping for any semblance of cleanliness and tranquility, I decided to stay here, which is a bit down the road from the major hustle and bustle. I can even see a few trees outside my window. It’s a bit more like an apartment in a residential area, with cute small scale restaurants and shops near by, rather than high-rises.

But most of all, I chose it because it reminds me of Japan. Ever since leaving Japan I have missed it quite a bit. Though I was often frustrated by the language barrier, I started to develop a real fondness for the place. The simple way they do things, the infinite cleanliness and order, the civil and proper way of things was wholly endearing to me. Perhaps this speaks to my OCD need for control by such things as cleanliness, civility, and order, but I did like it very much. Japan, to me, is somehow effortless, both serene and bustling, quiet and yet speaking volumes, its impact seen and felt around the globe. Both deep and powerful, yet simple and graceful, much like their Samurai archetype, Japan is respectable as a country and culture. And there are so many folds to its consciousness that I was not even able to see in my brief visit, but can only sense. There is something intelligent about the place and people that I admire.

IMG_0275And yet, Thailand is trying its best to grow on me as well. I do believe its a beautiful country, with beautiful people -both inside and out. Most everyone is both friendly and rather attractive. There is something about the way a smile affects people here that is so rewarding. You see people’s faces light up when you smile at them. You have no choice but to feel happy in so easily making others happy.  I’ve not yet seen much of what this great city has to offer, much less the country as a whole, but I know that it is vast. Much like the food on which Thais so pride themselves, the culture is rich, varied, and vibrant. It has depths,  layers, and nuances that I’ve yet to uncover but can sense here as well.

IMG_0278For now though, I’m going out to buy a piece of luggage. I did my best to live with only a backpack, but several new acquisitions produce more than my backpack can hold. And for simply staying in the city it has become cumbersome. So I’ll don my sun hat as not to disrespect my prized fair skin, and venture out onto the dirty streets to sweat and walk long distances because I’m too stubborn in needing to avoid the confrontation of haggling prices for taxis, motor bikes, or tuk tuks. Plus, I’m listening to my Pimsleur Thai while walking around so that one day here soon I actually can haggle for something and perhaps decrease my newbie status as aFarang/Falang (white person or simply western foreigner).  As I’ll need a deep cleaning after this outing and am looking at more places tomorrow, I’ll post something more in a couple of days.

 

Adjusting to Changing Travel Plans

Recently, I discovered that a friend I know just returned from living and teaching English in Thailand with her family for a year. Her mother, who is originally from Thailand, and father are missionaries there, and have many community contacts there. So I’ve been talking with her, getting her input and meeting connections of hers through Facebook.  And now, I have come to the conclusion that instead of taking a teaching job for a year long term at a government school, my time there would best be served there by travelling around and hopefully volunteering a bit at various organizations if I have the opportunity.  This is exciting two-fold because it allows more flexibility to travel the country and volunteer with small organizations when I can.  I feel thankful for the turn of events because having these contacts allows me to teach, volunteer or travel around and see the beautiful country. Not to mention, it allows my parents and family to feel better about my transition abroad.

So now, as I’ve started to set plans, the pieces that were previously causing me frustration, are seeming to fall into place. I’m glad that I postponed my departure time initially, and did not rush off to leave quicker than things were in order.  As of now, I’m flying out of Atlanta this Saturday to the west coast, where I’ll spend a couple days each in Seattle, Portland, and Los Angeles, before flying out of the country next week. Then, I’ll spend a few days in Tokyo before arriving in Bangkok.

Traveling by Hope and Will

As I’ve spent several long weeks trying to figure out my exact travel plans in Thailand and beyond (determining where I’ll be at every moment, where I’ll stay, when I’ll come and go, what I’ll see and do). And though I have a vague sense of things, I’ve finally come to realize that this tedious planning is not for the best, if not futile entirely. I’m worse off with having a plan now than I was when first started planning. All the tedious planning left me feeling only frustrated, like the prospect of actually starting my journey is fading away into the distance. Therefore, I’ve now decided to simply go and trust where it leads me.

Now don’t get me wrong, planning can be very beneficial at times. There have been places I’ve traveled where planning allowed me to see many more and obscure things that I might not have seen otherwise. But the planning I did then, just as the planning I’m doing now, left me feeling stressed and frustrated. Furthermore, much of my experience on those trips involved me rushing around in cites to make sure I checked off all the boxes, spending 75% of my time looking down at maps or guidebooks, and feeling an overbearing pressure to fulfill all that I set out to fulfill.

Although those journeys were rewarding in that I saw many things, I can fairly say, looking back, that I could have easily done without checking off many if not all of those boxes. Perhaps my time would have been better served if I had simply wandered around aimlessly, spoken to locals, and sat back to watch the ebb and flow of the city, feeling its palpable energy.

So I have to ask myself, what is the purpose of my current journey? Moreover, what should be the purpose of all my future journeys? If the only purpose is to see as many cultural attractions of a city as time allows, then yes, planning is absolutely necessary. However, it inevitably comes with the price of worry, stress, and frustration.

On the other hand, if I desire to simply experience different cities and cultures, understand the movements and nuance of  the place and its people, get caught up, for a moment, in the flow of life there, and absorb what material I can in the folds of my consciousness, then there is no need for exact planning. There is only a need for a relaxed attitude that is accepting and grateful for all that comes my way.

I understand that in a limited amount of time we all want to see as much of a city as we can, but as it goes in life as well, quality is always superior to quantity when it comes to human experience. Would you rather have a string of lackluster experiences that you soon forget, or a mere few that deeply impact the fabric of your life?

Perhaps my journey will be filled with hiccups and moments when I wish I’d planned things better, or moments of fear and loneliness when I wish I were back in my home where things are easy, safe, and known. But the thing I’ve lately realized is that you cannot always rely on the stabily of other people and circumstances. Sometimes you just have to embrace the unknown and know that your subconscious self will guide you to where you need to go.

By having faithful confidence in your capabilities to deal with whatever issues, pragmatic, existential, or otherwise, that come your way,  you can see more clearly the purpose of your existence and the sense of meaning behind your actions.  And ironically, in sacrificing this firm sense of control over your every move, you feel what can be perhaps the closest thing to a true sense of freedom and understanding of your self.

Like with all things in life, you just have to trust that imbedded in your subconscious mind you know what it is that you truly want in life, and by relinquishing the reins you’ll be led there. And even if there is bad along the way, those times can teach the most. Thus, I am grateful for where I’ve been, and look forward to where the road will lead me on this journey.